Don't be such an Infant!
by rosenquist
Summary: Jim doesn't follow his friend Bones' order as always, when he said, "Don't be such an infant." Gen. Kidfic. Unbetaed for now. Continued!
1. Chapter 1

Don't be such an infant

By Rosenquist

Category: Gen. Kidficlet. AU

Warnings: Just some silliness. Unbetaed. Moogthewriter wants to beta it for me when she has the time, but I just couldn't wait to post it. SO as soon as it's been betaed I'll repost it.

Summary: Jim doesn't follow his friend Bones' order as always, when he said, "Don't be such an infant."

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Star Trek 2009

A/N: I hope you like this little ST 2009 story of mine. I just had to write a story about the consequences to Bones' line; don't be such an infant! Be careful what you wish for Bones'. Moogsthewriter if you read this story I hope you'll still like to beta it for me, thanks.

"Don't be such an infant!" Dr. McCoy, also known as Bones to his best friend, said and then gave his friend a shot in the neck with a hypo. "How long is this…" bamm! And Bones' best friend was lying unconscious on a sickbay bed. "Unbelievable!" Bones said while pulling the curtains to the cubicle where Cadet James T. Kirk aka Bones' best friend was lying. What Bones didn't see, was as soon as he'd given his friend the shot, the man was changing. He got smaller and smaller.

Awhile later Bones got the shock of his life from what he saw just after he'd pulled the curtain away and saw his friend, well he thought where his friend was still lying, but instead of an adult there was an infant. That said infant was starting to stir, when the baby finally opened its eyes Bones could see some bright blue eyes that looked up at him. "My God, Jim! I said don't be such an infant! And what did you do? You always have to do the opposite as I tell you to. Don't you?" The baby smiled smugly, but as soon as he heard Chekov's voice he started to get restless and tried to say something and when he couldn't he did the only thing he could as a baby and that was screaming and loudly at that.

"Nurse, Chapel! I need your help here!"

Nurse Chapel hurried to get to Dr. McCoy, but when she saw an infant lying in a bundle of a Cadet Uniform she looked very surprised up at Dr. McCoy. "What is an infant doing on this ship, Doctor? I didn't know we had a woman here expecting a baby."

"There wasn't, nurse Chapel. This infant here is James T. Kirk. Just a few minutes ago he was a Starfleet Cadet. Something happened, I don't know what, but something turned him into an infant."

Nurse Chapel looked at Dr. McCoy like she thought he'd gone insane. "I'm not crazy! Take care of the baby and make sure he gets a diaper and some baby clothes on. I'll contact the Captain about the problem." Baby Jim cried even louder like he didn't like the idea of being put in diapers.

"Yes, Doctor."

Dr. McCoy let out a loud sigh before he called the bridge. "Dr. McCoy, here. We have a problem."

"And what is the problem, Doctor?" Captain Pike asked.

"You remember Cadet James T. Kirk?"

"Yes. How can I forget him?"

"Well, Sir. He's here on board…"

"He's what? How did he end up on the Enterprise?"

"Well, Sir. He was sick and as I'm a Doctor I had to take him with me…"

"I see. I'll arrange for his return to Earth. Well only if he's well enough for transfer that is."

"Well, Sir. He's not quite himself. Something happened to him. You better come and see it for yourself. You for sure won't believe me if I tell you."

Captain Pike looked at Commander Spock who had raised his eyebrows. "Okay, Doctor. I'm curious. Captain Pike, out."

"Commander Spock…"

"Captain. If you ask me to take the con. I think it will be logical for me to join you to sickbay." Spock said without saying why he thought it was logical. Captain Pike looked thoughtful at Spock and then nodded.

"Ensign Chekov you have the con." With that the Captain and his First Officer left the bridge.

oOo

As soon as Captain Pike saw Dr. McCoy he said, "It better be good, Doctor." But as soon as he heard a baby crying he looked confused at Dr. McCoy. "Why is there a baby on board, Doctor?" He then closed his eyes for a second. "Please, don't tell me that Cadet Kirk is this baby's father."

Dr. McCoy smiled, "I can happily say that this infant in nurse Chapel's arms is not the son of Cadet James T. Kirk." His smile faded when he said, "This baby is Cadet James T. Kirk."

"Say what?"

"I don't know how it happened, but something happened to turn Cadet James T. Kirk into an infant. The DNA test confirmed my theory."

Spock raised his eyebrows at the statement and studied the infant closely, "Fascinating."

Captain Pike went to the infant and took him in his arms. "Why won't he stop crying?"

"I tried everything. A pacifier which he spit out, a bottle of baby formula which he didn't want to take at all, singing a lullaby which he cried even louder and when I tried to put a diaper on him he went frantic, he kicked and screamed." She blushed and then said, "He then peed on me and I'm sure I heard him giggle afterwards, but a few seconds later he started to cry again. I really don't know how to calm him down."

"Were you at least able to put a diaper on him?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"No, sorry Doctor. Ca... Jimmy didn't let me."

Dr. McCoy shook his head. "He's just an infant for crying out loud. How hard can it be?" Dr. McCoy said and took the baby out of Captain Pike's arms. "You my friend are going to get a diaper on no matter if you like it or not," Bones' said to his now baby friend. With that he placed the crying baby on a bed and started to diaper the screaming baby. Captain Pike and Spock looked bewildered at the scene.

"You're right, Doctor. This baby is James T. Kirk. He doesn't look much older than the day I saw him few hours after his birth on the Kelvin, but he looks like that baby, Captain George Kirk's son. To be honest I don't hope it'll get reversed. Then I have a chance to make things right. I should have been there for him while growing up, as I was his father's best friend. Now I can make sure he'll get the right discipline to become a find upstanding federation citizen instead of a wild undisciplined rebellious young man."

"Indeed." Spock agreed.

"Good luck with that, Captain. I have a feeling you won't be able to get all the rebelliousness out of him." Dr. McCoy took the screaming baby in his arms right after he'd been able to put a diaper on him.

The End?


	2. Chapter 2

Don't be such an Infant! Part 2

A/N: Finally I was able to continue this story. I hope you like it. Thank you all who've given me reviews to the first part. Happy New Year! Let's hope my muse stays for good, so I'll be able to finish this story this year and all my other unfinished stories that I sadly have neglected for far too long.

Baby Kirk screamed and screamed no matter what Bones' tried to calm him down with didn't work. "Jim I know you never want to listen to my advice, but please stop screaming. If you only could talk and let me know why you're screaming, would be a lot easier. If it is because you're hungry than you need to eat."

Captain Pike looked at nurse Chapel, "Nurse, Chapel. Put up a nursery for baby Kirk. And find as many qualified personnel to take care of him for when I'm not able to. And make sure to set up a crib and a changing table in my quarters too."

"Yes, Sir."

"And in my quarters." Dr. McCoy said and went his attention to the Captain, "Captain, Jim is my friend. I want to take care of him too."

Captain Pike nodded.

"Yes, Doctor," nurse Chapel said and went to do as ordered.

"Okay, Doctor. Let us share custody over baby Kirk." Captain Pike said. As baby Jim kept screaming he looked concerned at the baby. "Are you sure there isn't anything wrong with him?"

"Yes, Captain. And there aren't even any signs of colic. He's a healthy one week old infant."

"One week old? Strange he looks like few hours after he was born twenty-five years ago. I can't remember him screaming that much though. Even then he had his eyes open and was very curious about everything, like he didn't want to miss out of anything."

"He is very small for his age…" Dr. McCoy stopped when he saw Commander Spock raise his eyebrows.

"I meant his physical age, Spock. Of course he's very small for twenty-five year old." He continued, "For a one week old infant he's under the low scale. I'll need to look into his pediatric medical file."

"You do that, Doctor. Commander Spock and I will go back to the bridge for the rescue mission on Vulcan."

Baby Jim cried even louder and started to get restless again. Bones had a hard time holding him. "Jim, will you stop that! Do you want me to drop you?" The baby didn't stop he turned his head and looked deeply into Captain Pike's eyes and reached his arms toward him.

"I do not have any knowledge about human children, but it seems that Baby James T. Kirk is trying to communicate with you, Captain."

Captain Pike nodded. "You may be right, Spock." Captain Pike said and took baby Kirk from Dr. McCoy's arms into his own. "So Jimmy. What do you have on your mind?" The baby pouted. "Oh is that a pout I'm seeing?"

"It is illogical to expect that a baby who cannot talk, will answer you, Captain."

"I know Spock. You'll soon enough find out that us humans talk to babies like we expect them to answer back even though they can't."

"Fascinating," was all Spock could respond to that.

The baby moved his mouth like he was trying to talk but only gurgling sound came out. The baby's lips trembled in a warning of a crying in very near future. And only few seconds later a loud wail was heard.

"It's like he's trying to talk to us, but is frustrated that he isn't able to. I know this may sound crazy but I really do believe that he remembers who he is and that he should have been in adult form and not a baby." McCoy said.

The Captain nodded, "Yeah I have the same feeling. Even though it indeed sounds crazy. It seems that he wants to tell us something important." He said while studying the unhappy baby.

"I could mind-meld with him… even though it will be most unpleasant for me to do so."

"Mind-meld what?" McCoy asked confused. He's been studying about Vulcan physiology some, but never heard anything of mind-melding.

Spock explained him what mind-meld was. McCoy's face went green like Vulcan blood. "You can't mind-meld with an infant, for crying out loud! I don't want you to risk the baby's… Jim's sanity… well the last sane thing he still got!" The baby cried even louder at that remark. McCoy had a feeling that Jimmy wished he was in his arms so he would be able to kick him. He was happy the little one was in the Captain's arms and not his.

For a split second there McCoy was sure the Vulcan was rolling his eyes.

"It is not his you should be worried about, even though with the little sanity he has if he even has any."

'Was that a joke, he just heard from the Vulcan?' McCoy wondered. He'd always thought that Vulcans wasn't able to tell jokes or at least that's what they'd claimed with all their supposedly no emotion thing. "Even so…" McCoy had to hide a chuckle when he saw Jimmy pulling his tongue out at the First Officer. He straightened and went back to being professional and continued what he'd been about to say. "Even so, I don't want you to experiment on a human baby… even though, the said baby, once have been an adult. Have you even ever done a mind-meld… thingy with a baby before? Or with a human for that matter?" McCoy asked while pointing his finger around the baby's head.

Spock looked emotionless at the doctor, "No I have not. I have never once mind-meld with a baby in any form nor race. And especially never with a human, but I do know some Vulcans who have mind-meld with humans before with no consequences for the humans. Though I cannot say that there has not been any consequences for the Vulcans. I have heard that mind-meld with humans is very unpleasant. With their… your illogical emotions."

McCoy just rolled his eyes at that remark. "Still as Jim's friend and doctor I'm against it, besides he probably just wants to tell us how annoying it is to be an infant or something inappropriate." He said shivering, he didn't hope his friend thought about things babies shouldn't think of ever, not until they reach adulthood.

"I agree with Doctor McCoy here. It can't be that important to risk the baby's health even though the risk is minimal." Captain Pike said.

The baby had other ideas. He reached his arms toward Spock like he wanted him to pick him up and agreeing to the mind-meld.

"For crying out loud, Jim. You can't be serious!" McCoy said shaking his head.

TBC

A/N: Do you have any ideas how the Enterprise can save Vulcan, how Spock can meet Spock prime now that he won't be able skip Kirk of to an Ice Planet? Or what else would you like to happen in this story?

And again; HAPPY NEW YEAR!


End file.
